I may not ever publish this because it would hurt to many ppl. But I am hurting so bad and best way to deal with it is prayer, prayer journal and the word of God.
This that I write now as part of my PRAYER journal.
I will get right to it…realizing if i do ‘publish’ this it then becomes a public prayer and others can Agree or disagree with me in prayer.
Father, Abba father, in heaven I trust by your grace, mercy and the sacrifice of Your son The Lord Jesus Christ that I am your child, a branch and YOU ARE THE VINE. I am your bride,I am part of your body. Thank you for entering into my life, your Holy Spirit possesing me.
As part of your body I feel the need to be connected with the rest of your body. As one of Your branches, connected to You the vine, but also joined & supported in some way by the other branches around me. As Your bride, part of the bridal party.
Another Sunday, Holy day passed. Not a call, not a txt not a card, not a . . . Anything.
At first I was okay. I understand how busy the other parts are. I know how I feel after Sunday lunch tryin to digest. But Lord by 1:15am (in the morning not 1 in the afternoon), now, maybe to late to communicate, reach out, idk.
I don’t know Lord, Master, Savior. . .
I do not know nor understand. . .
My physical pain is bad, u know how bad. My Spiritual relationship & side with you is as tight & as deeply in love with YOU as I possibly know. mentally I am ok, I even asked a 3 other honest people, a close real friend, my wife & my mom. . . They confirm I am fine as I can be mentally (stable & not in some psychotic episode) but I am Hurt when I realize I am some how forgotten or not an intricate part of others who consider themselves part of Your body. Not remembered enough to be given a quick call are 3 word txt -5 characters or letters (how r u).
I am POSITIVE they brought up my name in the public meeting /”service” & still have ‘it’ typed on the prayer list.
I’m asking in prayer LORD, why, why would they not call, check, reach me in some way? Am I not connected enough to them? Am I …
I don’t know.
Is it me?
Is it your body?
I just don’t know.
Lord, I do know how the least of these feel that you talk about in the gospel of Saint Matthew 25.
Father, i’m asking that ALL of the true parts of YOUR BODY will know it is not YOU Lord, my God, my Love . . .
I know also, THIS HURTS Lord. . . It hurts worse than the physical pain I need surgery for.
I am going to listen to YOU
Help us keep our eyes fixed on YOU LORD
I’ve asked enough, Your grace is enough and who am I to ask any more questions, help me look for answers but more importantly BE THE ANSWER FOR OTHERS…….
(Remaining in prayer)