On the “Wheels No Heels” youtube channel I heard the word, “Spoonie” used and had no idea what she was referring to. I watched her video and then I watched a video that shared a metaphor on how they relate to living with a disability. It is a pretty good, personal metaphor.
Check it out:
Later I gave thought to that illustrative metaphor & made it personal…
While strolling (rolling) around the streets of down town St. Augustine, Florida we went into a small shop that was packed full of various spices & teas.
Is variety the spice of life?
In this store tea and spice & the varieties they offer is life.
It was there that I saw these “Honey Spoons”.
Spoons made completely of honey!!!
You can stir your tea with them & the honey sloooowly dissolves. Sure, you no longer have a spoon but you have a very, very sweet cup of tea.
That honey spoon served its purpose for that particular cup of tea.
What if you drink 6 cups of tea a day but you only have 3 spoons?
For me the “Spoons Metaphor” fit into this perfectly.
Each moment of life IS NOT always as sweet as honey, but I’ve learned to NOT take even the li’l things for granted. Especially activities of daily living (A.D.L.s as we call them in the nursing aide field).
These aren’t recreational activities or even career oriented. I’m talking about things one has to do just to take care of (or handle) personal bodily functions & hygiene.
When what use to be like a simple part time job or task all of a sudden becomes your full time business (requires all your strength, energy and a big chunk of time) it gives a whole new meaning to taking care of my business doesn’t it?
Speaking in metaphorical terms, when it rains you have to get to your umbrella in time or you’ll be soaked. You can’t control the rain, or the thunder for that matter, if ya know what I mean! (I’m smiling as I write this).
When nature calls you can’t put it on hold.
Answering the call of nature through out the day is a challenge when the wires are crossed or “nerve central station” isn’t working correctly (I’ll save that for another article).
I have learned to be so much more appreciative of every function my body does have.
These “activities”, once just menial tasks, are now sweet savored moments. Those moments (my cup of tea) many times require a honey spoon that sweetens that cup.
Moments & tasks are like a the tea.
Our life is the cup that holds that tea…
and the honey spoon? Well, the honey spoon slowly dissolves with each cup I drink as I put it into the tea (the task or moment). It is my cup to bear and I’ll bear it. My limited ability to do certain things,
my ability is the honey spoon.
Yep, my life is the cup. Moments/tasks are the tea & the ability is the honey spoon.
Now, the moments in life I drink in (take part in) are just the tea & my ability is the one thing that makes that tea sweeter. The more sweet ability (honey) the more sweeter the tea, however, sometimes I need to
just enjoy the tea with or without all the honey.
I still enjoy the tea & sometimes think of how much sweeter it would be with honey or more honey spoons but, if you have no more honey to give you learn to just enjoy the tea anyway.
Also, if you have more tea to drink other than just your morning cup you’ll have to ration out those honey spoons or the other cups of tea just won’t be as pleasant.
Each handicapped or disabled person is as different as each person who doesn’t have any issues. Each have a cup (life). Each have tea (things they enjoy & need) and each will enjoy somethings more than other things (“their cup of tea”).
The key is to enjoy your cup of tea regardless of the amount of “sweetener” (ability) you have in each cup. The focus becomes the cup and the tea, not the sweetener. My cup is over filled & overflowing. Honestly it is not always sweet but it is still a good cup & good tea.
I heard someone say, “My cup runith over but sometimes someone runs over my cup!” My reply was, “Get your cup off a path where people will run over it.”
For me, living with Polynuropothy, when I’m doing a basic task, let’s say getting dressed, when that task is done I feel like I’ve accomplished something major. It is as if I just won a wrestling match against my own body!
While I’m transferring from my wheelchair to a shower chair I’m often reminded of how that could be done if I were fully able, or the fact that I wouldn’t even need a chair in the shower! For me, I’m still working through some of the grief, grieving the loss of my muscles. Like the sweet honey spoon those former abilities are no longer available to me or are limited. Now, for each task I am given a sweet honey spoon and each task dissolves that spoon. That is just the way it is.
So, I cry & cry for more honey (which is ok to do) but more importantly I go ahead and enjoy each spoon and know that I only have so many spoons at any given time to add to my cup of tea (life’s moments & tasks).
I hope this helps you with whatever you are working through in your life and that you too will treasure your sweet honey spoons and more importantly enjoy the cup of tea (life) you”ve been given.
Use your spoons well, beetle
There is a huge community of online sick people who refer to themselves as “Spoonies”. As seen in the videos above and explained a little different in this article also I hope you too are able decipher as to why that term is being used a what it means to be a spoonie. Consider this as “cypticulture 101”.