Some are filled with dread & anger because “love” tore their heart out. That is not love.
1st Corinthians 13 gives us a definition of love.
We may not find that perfect love in a person but God’s word gives a good outline of attributes to look for.
When think bout love with another person & give our best from your side sometimes we don’t seem to get anything back but we need to know that love is not a miserable thing.
There is no fear in love [dread does not exist]. But perfect (complete, full-grown) love drives out fear, because fear involves [the expectation of divine] punishment, so the one who is afraid [of God’s judgment] is not perfected in love [has not grown into a sufficient understanding of God’s love].
1 JOHN 4:18 AMP
What can you do on your end of love?
Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God [set aside self-righteous pride], so that He may exalt you [to a place of honor in His service] at the appropriate time, casting all your cares [all your anxieties, all your worries, and all your concerns, once and for all] on Him, for He cares about you [with deepest affection, and watches over you very carefully]. Be sober [well balanced and self-disciplined], be alert and cautious at all times. That enemy of yours, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion [fiercely hungry], seeking someone to devour. But resist him, be firm in your faith [against his attack–rooted, established, immovable], knowing that the same experiences of suffering are being experienced by your brothers and sisters throughout the world. [You do not suffer alone.] After you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace [who imparts His blessing and favor], who called you to His own eternal glory in Christ, will Himself complete, confirm, strengthen, and establish you [making you what you ought to be]. To Him be dominion (power, authority, sovereignty) forever and ever. Amen.
1 PETER 5:6-11 AMP
Perfect love will only be found in Christ.
He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High Will remain secure and rest in the shadow of the Almighty [whose power no enemy can withstand]. I will say of the Lord , “He is my refuge and my fortress, My God, in whom I trust [with great confidence, and on whom I rely]!” For He will save you from the trap of the fowler, And from the deadly pestilence. He will cover you and completely protect you with His pinions, And under His wings you will find refuge; His faithfulness is a shield and a wall. You will not be afraid of the terror of night, Nor of the arrow that flies by day,
PSALM 91:1-5 AMP
Personally I try to keep my focus on my marriage to Christ and as I do the love I have toward others is strengthened.
I do not have a very good record in my marriage to others. I have fallen short. I have regrets that I coukd not make 2 prior marriages work. I’ve learned two important things:
- When I become selfish the marriage does not work.
- There comes a point where if only one of you tries to make it last and both are not willing to endure it will not work.
Both of my past marriages lasted 9 to almost 10 years, both of them. I am now remarried and going on 8 years. We are both doing our best to make it last and I truly believe it will but it will not be easy at times. Each marriage, each point in history, offers different obstacles and challenges. God’s love endures all and it is only through Him that our love for each other will also last.