“What’s A Parent to Do?” http://subspla.sh/b247bc8
House or Home – Parenting Edition
“What’s a Parent to Do?”
God’s Blueprint for Biblical Parenting (Part 2) Ephesians 6:4
Chip Ingram and Living on the Edge
If you missed the 1st one click 👉Part 1👈 or listen to this part two on its own.
The Question: What’s it take to raise kids who love God and love you when they’re grown?
The Answer: Ephesians 6:4 – 4
1. “don’t provoke” = overcorrect, be harsh, fault finding, perfectionist
2. “bring up” = nurture, rear, tenderly develop in the sphere of character and principles
3. “discipline” = nurture (KJV), chastise (RV), training (2 Tim. 3:16)
🔸 It’s what is done to the child.
4. “instruction” = warn, admonish, correct, reprove, implore
🔸 It’s what is said to the child.
Summary: We are to parent with LOVE and LIMITS
Secular research’s affirmation* – 4 kinds of parents:
1. Permissive = High love, low discipline
2. Neglectful = Low love, low discipline
3. Authoritarian = Low love, high discipline
4. Authoritative = High love, high discipline
*Reuben Hill Minnesota Report
God’s prescription for child development:
4 In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood.
5 And you have forgotten that word of encouragement that addresses you as sons: “My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline, and do not lose heart when He rebukes you,
6 because the Lord disciplines those He loves, and He punishes everyone He accepts as a son.”
7 Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father?
8 If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons.
9 Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live!
10 Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in His holiness.
11N o discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. Hebrews 12:4-11 (NIV)
Summary: Discipline is teaching obedience to God and His Word through consistent consequences (actions) and clear instructions (words) in an atmosphere of love.
● The necessity of discipline = To deter ____________________ Hebrews 12:4
● The means of discipline = Through ___________ and ____________Hebrews 12:5
● The motive in discipline = To express _____________________ Hebrews 12:6-9
● The goal of discipline = To teach _________________________ Hebrews 12:9
● The result of discipline = Short term ____________and long term ____________
(NO Pain NO gain, KNOW pain KNOW gain…make sure more gain than pain)
Personal note, remember to play, relax and have fun, enjoy your family.
How to parent with love and limits: (Consider age, consider the source – keep age appropriate expectations on children)
🔸Actions= Consistent Consequens Proverbs 13:24; 22:15
● Small Children
🔸Words = Clear instructions Proverbs 1:8; 2:1-2; 3:1; 7:1-2
● Small Children
LOOK AT THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN
🔻Punishment and 🔺Discipline
🔷The Purpose of
🔻Punishment = To inflict penalty for an offense. 🔺Discipline = To train for correction and maturity.
🔷 The Focus. 🔻Punishment focuses on Past misdeeds. 🔺Discipline focuses on Future correct acts.
🔷Attitude. 🔻Punishment =Hostility and frustration on the part of the parent. 🔺Discipline = Love and concern on the part of the parent
(Resulting emotion in the child) 🔻Punishment = Fear and guilt. 🔺Discipline = Security
For further teaching on child discipline, see Effective Parenting in a Defective World by Chip Ingram
Practical tips for balanced parenting:
1. Have a few, clear _______________ / _________________.
2. Develop written ___________________________________.
3. Negotiate _______________________________________.
4. Be ____________________________________________!
5. The older they get, the ______________________ the rules.
6. ____________________________ them to be on their own.
🔸 Develop A Game-Plan
1. How would you classify your parenting style or tendency compared to the case study? Discuss your answer.
2. What is the difference between discipline and punishment?
3. What are your top two disciplinary problems with your children? What means of action/consequences or instruction would help your child learn obedience?
4. What specific step do you need to take to align your parenting with God’s pattern to bring out the best in your child?
Resources: Parenting with Love and Logic by Kevin Lema. Dare to Discipline by James Dobson
This concludes Part 2 of:
House or Home – Parenting Edition
“What’s a Parent to Do? ”
(God’s Blueprint for Biblical Parenting Ephesians 6:4)
For more resources, go to http://www.lote.org
Copyright © 2008 Chip Ingram and Living on the Edge
Copyright © 2012 Chip Ingram and Living on the Edge
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